im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
