Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
