i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When are your genitals available?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
