this beer tastes like vomit already
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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