i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
