Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize