I puked a lego.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
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She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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