I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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