did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
handjob tips. give me some.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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