we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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