3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
