do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pants are for mortals
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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