wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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