And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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