Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
