You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
