he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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