speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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