I wanna bring you to show and tell
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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