He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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