he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
