I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
