Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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