I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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