i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
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So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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