i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Omg I joined a choir last night...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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