My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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