So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.