Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.