I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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