I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?