Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.

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(781): they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories. http://tfl.nu/7ndb

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(612): View more from Minnesota

How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

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(612): How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk http://tfl.nu/wp9g

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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(248): I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts http://tfl.nu/hn1f

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?

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(715): so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game? http://tfl.nu/evbk

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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j

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(415): View more from California

He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

(650): View more from California

.......................................

(415): View more from California

My thoughts exactly.

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(415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl

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(330): View more from Ohio

come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned

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(330): come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned http://tfl.nu/3008

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(252): View more from North Carolina

My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business

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(252): My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business http://tfl.nu/rc0p

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.

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(+31): I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates. http://tfl.nu/urqj

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(818): View more from California

more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt

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(818): more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt http://tfl.nu/uly3

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(561): View more from Florida

There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it

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(561): There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it http://tfl.nu/iil4

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.

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(715): She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird. http://tfl.nu/gla6

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(312): View more from Illinois

We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

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(312): We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/tvg3

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(330): View more from Ohio

The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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(330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej

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(404): View more from Georgia

I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.

(910): View more from North Carolina

That's what you say about everyone.

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(404): I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system. (910): That's what you say about everyone. http://tfl.nu/s26k

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