what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
