I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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