Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
