i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
