no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
