i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
