she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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