she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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