People in love make me want to vomit
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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