the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
