His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
