If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
