we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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