so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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