She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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