They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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