I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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