guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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