i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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