At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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