is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
