Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
