dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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