it hurts more in the daytime
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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