I love black thongs
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
