i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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