let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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