Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
