That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
