Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
